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Murphy’s Laws of Parenting
I learned pretty early on, that parenting is pretty much a comedy of errors.
The only way to really survive this gig is to learn to laugh at it all.
Because when you combine sleep deprivation with the unpredictability of children you’re pretty much walking on a minefield of mishaps and follies.
When I was little I remember that my dad had a plaque in his office with Murphy’s Law written on it
“Anything that can go wrong, probably will”
Of course as a child I never really understood the meaning.
But today?
It’s pretty much my motto.
So without further ado, here are some of my Murphy’s Law’s of Parenting:
“No matter how many things you’ve packed in the diaper bag, you will always forget the one thing you need most”
A month ago, Kev and I were out running some errands. We weren’t planning on being gone long so we didn’t bother to check the inventory of the diaper bag. Then midway through the trip we got a call from a friend asking us to meet them at their son’s hockey game. Lo and behold Jack had a massively poopy diaper and what was the ONE thing we didn’t have in our loaded diaper bag? You guessed it. A diaper.
“The later you go to bed the earlier your child will rise.”
Jack sleeps until 7:30-8:00 am most days. Except the days that I worked until 2 am the night before. Then he is up at the crack of dawn.
“The frequency and length of your child’s naps is in direct correlation to your plans for the day”
When I have something to do, it never fails that Jack will either a.) fight his naps completely or b.) take the shortest catnap known to man.
Conversely on days when we are going somewhere and have to leave at a certain time he will sleep for 2-2 1/2 hours, making us late.
“You will search high and low for the perfect toys for your children only to realize that they are more fascinated with boxes, bottles and Tupperware.”
If I has a dollar for every oven mitt, Tupperware, or beer koozie I cleaned up out of Jack’s toy bin’s I could quit my job and become a full time blogger!
“Toddlers do not appreciate planned outings. Toddlers laugh in the face of plans”
Last Halloween I planned a trip to the pumpkin farm. I was hoping for fun family time and some great pics. Instead I got whining and a massacred pumpkin.
What are your Murphy’s Laws ??
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Amen! There is nothing that says Murphy’s Law like motherhood!
Love this! This is so true!!! I don’t know of many days as a mom that things HAVE actually gone right!
I would add that on the days I have to get up really early one of the kids gets sick in the middle of the night.
So very true for all parents I guess. I have another one: When I prepare my little one’s favorite meal in advance because we have to go somewhere and I have no time for cooking, for sure he’s refusing to eat it and insists on something completely different. And he ends up eating something out of the panty or take away food.
My law? Just after you change a diaper, the kid will crap in it. Right in the clean one. Right away. Happened way too many times, so I tried to fake him. I’d be all “I’m changing you now!” PSYCHE! And I’d just put the same one back on. Till he figured me out. At 10 mos old. Little monster
This is so true! We stayed up late last night, figuring LO slept for 5-6 hours for the past 2 weeks. Of course, last night he only wanted to sleep for 3 hours at a time and was up at 6:30 ready to party.
I don’t have kids, but I can relate to the law about toys! When my dog was a puppy, we bought her chew toys, balls, etc etc. No interest whatsoever.
Her favorite toy? Empty plastic bottles. Bonus points if they still have the label on them.
Thank you Angie for posting!!!
I’m so with you on all of these!!!
The one that always irks me the most: the waking up early when I’ve been up late.
Thank you so much for having me Kate!!
Sooo true! Another one: they will always have a messy poop after an early bath. I hate that.
This was such a fun read for me! I can only imagine how motherhood is going to change my life when my little one arrives!
Thanks for stopping by on my SITS day!
Baby will ALWAYS poop after you put on a fresh diaper! And the nap thing? So true. So so so true.
I TOTALLY agree about the late to bed, early to rise! Also? if i ever popped awake, I’d need to will myself back to sleep cuz if I was up, she’d stir within 5 minutes.
How about after you take the time to actually cook (and not go through a drive through) and fix the baby a nice plate; they don’t want it. The want the exact same food that’s on YOUR plate.