I have been frustrated with so many things! Logan woke up sick at the beginning of the week, I woke up sick the next day, the house is messy and I can’t seem to get it in order, I’m pretty sure my washer and dryer think I have abandoned them, I haven’t been able to work out in a month and a half, I haven’t gotten supper on the table consistently…and the list could go on and on and on….. Sometimes I call my mom and rant about my day and about how complicated it feels and she tries to help me get it in perspective but sometimes I still get off the phone so frustrated.
Just now I was reading a blog, http://bandssullivan.blogspot.com/, and I felt like I had been hit over the head. This is a blog about a man who has lost his wife to cancer after she gave birth to their daughter, Chloe (who is now 7 weeks old.) I consider myself a devout Christian, but I could not have the peace that he has with his life. Sometimes I will read his posts and expect to hear anger seeping through his words and yet all I feel is peace when I read his blog. He is so grateful with the time he had with his wife, the time that he has with his daughter, the time that he has to teach her about Jesus and about his wife’s amazing legacy.
You know what? I am dang lucky to have a house that can be messy, to have a washer and dryer that work, to have cars that while they cost a lot of money they work and get me, my husband, and my son (sometimes our dog too!) to our destination safely. I am grateful that my son is healthy and all he has is a cold, that I don’t have cancer, that all I have is a cold, that my husband is healthy, that my husband goes to work everyday and works his butt off so that I can be a stay-at-home mom and see all of Logan’s “firsts.”
God hit me over the head today! I am going to wake up and take life in single steps, single breaths, one minute at a time. When I get frustrated I will remember what I have and not concentrate on the things that I don’t. I will be happy and remember that today is a gift from God, today is not something that He owes me.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.