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When I was 18.

03/25/2011 by Kate P. 30 Comments

I used to journal a LOT!

I started writing a journal in the 1st grade. I wrote one every year after that. And I still have them all! But, somewhere between graduating college, getting married, starting grad school & having a baby I quit.

Hmmm….I wonder why?

Here is an entry I found from the summer before I started college on June 26, 2002 at 10:51 pm (yes, I write the time I start & end all my journal entries–yes, I am neurotic. Stop judging me.) 

Hey! 

Today, you became my closest confidant. The past school year was a hard one. Hopefully, you will be the place that I store happier memories & a new beginning. 

Hopefully, you will be the clean slate. 

I pray that you will be the journal that I will be able to flip back through and read about happier thoughts. It is time for me to finally feel better. 

I am looking forward to the next five and a half months being full of new life experiences and full of all the joyful & free ones an 18 year old expects to find. 

Until then, 
Kate

And I actually did have a blast that summer.

It was the only summer my parents didn’t make me work as long as I was working out for the next basketball season.

My parents took us on an amazing trip out west for two weeks!

I did have my wisdom teeth taken out that summer…that was not so much fun.

Eighteen is a fun & difficult age. I remember thinking I was so grown up, yet I felt so small in the world.

I remember going off to college & the first night I was there I went to a gas station at 10 pm & turned to a friend on our way there, “Is there someone we’re supposed to ask to make sure it’s okay for us to do this?” It was a totally new concept to me to just run out to the store without getting permission first (especially on a school night!)

My 18 to 19th year ended up being full of all the new experiences I was hoping to find. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it was just perfect enough that I can forget all the cruddy stuff & only remember good things.

But you know what?

As good as that year was…I’d NEVER go back to being a freshman in college ever again.

I like exactly where I am & where I’m going.

Do you journal? 
What was it like for you when you were 18? 

Mama’s Losin’ It

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About Kate P.

I'm a Spanish speaking, supper cooking, sporadic house cleaning, sometimes swearing, to do list making, stroller pushing, diaper changing, SAHM & skin care selling, God fearing, church going, independently thinking, family loving, not always perfect, hooked on blogging, husband loving, health food nut & junk food junkie, first & now second time mommy. Welcome to my world.

Comments

  1. Courtney K says

    03/24/2011 at 4:50 am

    I hear that! I remember my first night in college…we did the same thing. Went out really late to grab a milkshake from the 24-hour McDonalds…I felt the need to call my mom and tell her where I was going. She laughed and said whatever. I wouldn't go back and be 18 again for ANYTHING.

    Reply
  2. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/24/2011 at 5:01 am

    No kidding! I'm so glad I don't ever have to be 18 ever again! Blah!

    It was the weirdest thing getting all that freedom just handed to me…I think it's awesome you called your mom!

    Reply
  3. Jessica says

    03/24/2011 at 5:07 am

    I don't remember ever using a journal but my oldest daughter likes to use one. When I was 18 I was all responsible and working full-time.

    Reply
  4. Dana K says

    03/24/2011 at 11:08 am

    I kind of kept a diary for a few months. I stopped when I realized I was writing notes to my sister in case she was reading it instead of actually keeping a diary.

    Perhaps my paranoia was due to the fact that I learned to pick locks thanks to her many diaries…

    Reply
  5. Dianna says

    03/24/2011 at 12:02 pm

    I loved reading this!
    I began journaling in my teens, using stenographers' notebooks. Through the years, that changed to just jotting down things on a little For the most part (except for a few years here and there), I still do that. A few years ago, I discovered "I Daily Diary", a journaling program that you use on your computer. And there's a search option!

    Reply
  6. Hannah says

    03/24/2011 at 2:23 pm

    I was always terrible at keeping a journal! I have hundreds (ok maybe not that many) of journals laying around that are partially filled. I would start one thinking I would keep a journal to look back on. I would write faithfully for a week then sporatically for a month then give up all together. It is really funny to find those journals and read the random random things I wrote.
    My freshman year of college I was living at home while I recovered from some health issues. I had braces, my front teeth where being replaced so I had no front teeth, and I was severely underweight. It turned out to be a good year but I would not go back to that for the world!

    Reply
  7. Anne says

    03/24/2011 at 2:52 pm

    The summer of being 18 was an amazing summer! The world was so full of possibility. I also shared tan excerpt from my 18th summer in my Mama Kat post today.

    Reply
  8. Kristi says

    03/24/2011 at 3:24 pm

    I did journal some and then, in a fit of embarrassment, I threw it out! Agh! Wish I hadn't judged myself so harshly and kept them.
    My son is 18 (and he doesn't journal!) but I look at him and wonder what's ahead for him to discover. I still feel like I"M 18 at times. lol
    For me at 18 I was trying to please everyone…..my parents, my teachers, my friends, my boyfriend, my employer….you get the point. I was very conservative in my choices…"a good girl"….and it all turned out fine in the end. I love where I'm at in my life.
    That said, I do wish that maybe I had been a bit more spontaneous and less self conscious. I'm like that now…only in a 44 year old body that doesn't always cooperate like my 18 year old body would have! lol
    Thanks for sharing your journal and asking good questions.
    Stopping by from Mama Kat's

    Reply
  9. GringationCancun says

    03/24/2011 at 4:30 pm

    I've never journaled. Blogging is the closest I come. 🙂

    When I was 18 I thought I was all grown up, too! I even got engaged! What was I thinking? hahaha I went to a semester of college in the US before moving to Mexico, which was nice but kind of lonely since I knew I'd be moving to another country in a few months. I learned so much that year, and my huge mistakes led me to the amazing life I have now, so no regrets!!!… but I was an idiot haha

    Reply
  10. GringationCancun says

    03/24/2011 at 4:33 pm

    Hold on, let me give a timeline so my reply's not so confusing.. when I was 18 I:

    -graduated high school
    -was a missionary intern in Mexico for a summer, when I got engaged (after knowing the guy for 2 weeks)
    -went to a semester of university in the US
    -moved to Mexico to be with my fiance
    -spent 3 lonely months in Acapulco in an abusive relationship

    Yeah…stupid, but thank God those mistakes got me here eventually 🙂

    Reply
  11. Dumb Mom says

    03/24/2011 at 9:59 pm

    I would go back to college if it were only for a week and if I didn't have to do any work while I was there. Oh, and if I didn't have to deal with my annoying roommate. And, if it could be chicken tenders and waffles night every night in the dining hall. And if I could have a car. I didn't have a car my freshman year and I really coulda used one. Along with a computer so I could avoid late night trips to the computer lab. Oh, never mind. I don't think I will go back.

    Reply
  12. BalancingMama (Julie) says

    03/25/2011 at 2:13 am

    I didn't mind college, but the prior teen years were insane. Ups and downs, confidence and fears… ugh. I don't want to go back there! Terrified for the day my daughter becomes a teen.

    Reply
  13. Emily says

    03/25/2011 at 4:11 am

    I kept either a diary or journal from third grade until about age 30. I did this prompt as well and also chose an entry from right around the same time in my life!

    I was very innocent when I was 18. The journal entry I chose was a real eye-opener for me! I am so glad I have documented the good, bad and ugly that I call my life!

    Reply
  14. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/25/2011 at 5:30 am

    Wow working full time at 18! That's awesome responsible!

    Reply
  15. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/25/2011 at 5:31 am

    haha!

    I used to sneak into my sister's journal, it never went over well!

    Reply
  16. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/25/2011 at 5:32 am

    That's cool!

    I don't journal much anymore (hello blog world) but I did keep a journal for my son when I was pregnant with him. That is a lot of fun to go back through & read!

    Reply
  17. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/25/2011 at 5:32 am

    I'm with you Hannah, I wouldn't go back for anything in the world!

    Reply
  18. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/25/2011 at 5:33 am

    That's neat you had such a great time…and it is so full of possibilities…a lot of big decisions too at that age.

    Reply
  19. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/25/2011 at 5:34 am

    I remember when my dad dropped me off at college & I told him I couldn't believe I was there because I still felt like a kid. My dad told me he was 45 & still felt 17, so he couldn't believe he was dropping his baby off at school….

    Reply
  20. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/25/2011 at 5:35 am

    Because now you have Jorge!!! And you live in beautiful Cancun!

    Reply
  21. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/25/2011 at 5:35 am

    hahaha…I'm with you!

    Reply
  22. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/25/2011 at 5:35 am

    Yeah I'm not really looking forward to being a mom to a teenager either!

    Reply
  23. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/25/2011 at 5:41 am

    Me too, I always appreciate being able to go back through and read everything…so glad it's all in the past though!

    Reply
  24. Leighann says

    03/25/2011 at 11:38 pm

    I've kept a journal since Grade 6.
    I have every single one.
    I sometimes go back and read them and remember the happiness, heartache, lost friendships.
    I wouldn't do 18 over again either.
    No. Way.

    Reply
  25. Karen says

    03/26/2011 at 1:07 am

    I don't journal anymore, except on my blog. I am so glad I started a blog! It is great to be able to stretch my writing wings again and to work out some emotions along the way. Between Facebook, The Blog Frog, and my blog, I feel that I don't need a journal anymore.

    The year I turned 18 was a terrible one for me. I was already in college for almost a full semester, I had stupidly moved in with a boyfriend four days after my 18th birthday, and I was a lost little girl. I didn't take the time to find out who I was because I was too busy being a "grown-up." I wouldn't go back to those days for anything, but I sure wish I had done it differently.

    Reply
  26. Karima says

    03/27/2011 at 12:14 pm

    Hi I love to journal – I would be lost without it. At 18 I moved into my own apartment – new beginnings for me! I am a new follower of yours on google and blogfrog and not forgetting facebook follower. http://www.karimasblogs.blogspot.com

    Reply
  27. 30ish Mama says

    03/28/2011 at 2:32 am

    I have never kept a journal but I had a brief stint with a diary when I was 12. It was all girly and boring. But I remember that when I was 18 I thought I knew it all : )

    Reply
  28. Lady Jennie says

    03/30/2011 at 2:29 pm

    I cannot tell you much I relished the freedom in college. They were glorious years to adulthood. Still I would not trade them with what I have now.

    Reply
  29. Reedu says

    03/30/2011 at 10:53 pm

    As a writer, I have always journal’d but I rarely go back and read them, let alone post something I wrote on the web! Maybe I should – you’ve inspired me. On another note, when I was 18 and going off to college I was still grieving the loss of a very close friend of mine during the middle of my senior year. The tragedy really threw me and I retreated. Until this day I always wonder how my life and my friendships would have played out if he was not taken from this earth so soon.

    Reply
    • Kate P. says

      03/31/2011 at 1:59 am

      Oh trust me, I had to be very careful about what journal entry I posted because I knew that people from IRL would be reading it. I didn’t want them knowing what had been going on & if they had known about it I didn’t want to talk about it with them.

      My little sister lost someone right before her senior year & it changed her as well. Death is hard to cope with, ESPECIALLY when it is a young life. Those are the hardest to understand because their life was so short.

      Reply

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Hello, I'm Kate, author behind the blog & matriarch of chaos, meal planning, family entertainment, & everything in between in the Mommy Monologues family. I started this blog in March of 2010 as a new mom and was looking for an outlet while trying to figure out motherhood. Blogging was great, exciting, new, wonderful & an awesome … [Continue Reading]

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