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If I lived on Wisteria Lane.

03/10/2011 by Kate P. 34 Comments

If I lived on Wisteria Lane….
I’d have neighbors who are bombshells.
The Hot Mamas of Desperate Housewives
I’d have slept with at least 1 of my friends’ husbands and/or a high school teenager who just happens to be my gardener, & I might have turned lesbian & started dating a stripper.
Do you know any 18 year olds who look like this?!
If I lived on Wisteria Lane….
I’d have a serial killer for a friend who would deliver my child in HIS house , a deranged lunatic out to kill me for revenge, & I might even have killed someone myself (and gotten away with it.)
Eddie the Strangler.
If I lived on Wisteria Lane….
My neighbors would be slightly slutty while pretending to be classy, they’d chase after my husband, & I would wash my car wearing almost nothing.
This is what I wear when I wash my car.
If I lived on Wisteria Lane….
I’d have a humongous house decorated beautifully, designer clothes, & fancy cars yet be in financial ruin.
Susan’s House
Watching the women of Wisteria Lane has me wondering….
What’s going on in my little slice of Suburbia Heaven?
My House!
I can admit, I’m a little late to the Desperate Housewives Club, but about a year ago I fell in love with the women of Wisteria Lane & their insane lives! 
These women have me checking out my neighbors for craziness (and secretly hoping that my street was just as much fun!)…
There is this crazy guy that lives down the street from us. He backs his suburban into the garage (for a fast getaway, I’m sure of it!) I’ve seen his car coming & going maybe 3 times, he has his mailbox screwed shut, & a no Solicitation Sign on his front door. 
The women of Wisteria Lane have me convinced this man is either:
A) A former CIA agent.
B) Hiding out from some government agency.
C) He is one of the deranged, killer lunatics you would find on Wisteria Lane out to revenge the death of someone. And we don’t know who his target his!
Do you like Desperate Housewives? Have any crazy neighbors?

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Filed Under: for fun, TV shows

About Kate P.

I'm a Spanish speaking, supper cooking, sporadic house cleaning, sometimes swearing, to do list making, stroller pushing, diaper changing, SAHM & skin care selling, God fearing, church going, independently thinking, family loving, not always perfect, hooked on blogging, husband loving, health food nut & junk food junkie, first & now second time mommy. Welcome to my world.

Comments

  1. Liz says

    03/09/2011 at 2:05 am

    Oh no! They've put doubt and suspicion into your mind!

    Damn, those Housewives!

    Reply
  2. Sara says

    03/09/2011 at 2:30 am

    I love Desperate Housewives!

    And we do have weird neighbors … I think there may be some "kept" women living nearby. Haven't quite figured it out yet…

    Reply
  3. J Creek says

    03/09/2011 at 3:38 am

    I have also become a fan of Desperate Housewives recently! I only allow myself to watch it on my Iphone at the gym…it's been the most effective way of sticking to the gym!

    Reply
  4. Mommy's Sippy Cup says

    03/09/2011 at 3:48 am

    Oh Lord, you crack me up. I never used to watch it and now I'm sucked in. 🙂

    Reply
  5. Jessica says

    03/09/2011 at 7:28 am

    I used to watch Desperate Housewives but then I stopped because I was recording so many shows that I couldn't keep up on all of them and the Housewives had to go.

    As far as your neighbor I'm going to hope that he is A because the other are scary.

    I have one crazy neighbor who is almost 40 and still lives with his mom who calls animal control anytime a dog barks in the neighborhood and constantly gets into fights with people. Maybe I should start watching Desperate Housewives again so I can figure out what type of person he is.

    Reply
  6. hynz says

    03/09/2011 at 8:57 am

    That's not cool! They turned you into a snoopy neighbor.
    I think Susan being in a financial ruin while living in that neighborhood doesn't add up too..

    Reply
  7. gringationcancun says

    03/09/2011 at 5:16 pm

    I like Desperate Housewives, but it's hard to catch up on it here in Mexico so I stopped watching 🙁

    Love Edie's car-washing outfit 🙂

    Reply
  8. Dolli-Mama says

    03/09/2011 at 8:43 pm

    That's funny. I have often wished I could run my house like Bri did in the early years, except my kids would love me.
    Freshly ironed sheets and kids that think your awesome. What could be better?

    Reply
  9. 30ish Mama says

    03/10/2011 at 5:04 am

    I love Desperate Housewives and I have watched them from the first episode. I don't really know any of my neighbors because we didn't have any kids until last year so we never really hung out in our neighborhood. Everyone here got to know each other from their kids playing together. Hopefully that will change this year as the weather warms up and our kiddo wants to play outside.

    Reply
  10. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/10/2011 at 5:32 am

    So true!

    Granted this guy is kind of creepy…it's like it's a vacant lot & he's just doing some sort of spying on the neighborhood or something.

    Reply
  11. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/10/2011 at 5:32 am

    Oh creepy!

    It's such a fun show, I'm bummed that I just finished up season 6 on Netflix. :/

    Reply
  12. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/10/2011 at 5:32 am

    That's for commenting Jessica!

    Reply
  13. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/10/2011 at 5:34 am

    lol I hope he's A too or if he is C then I hope he's after someone else. jk jk jk

    I had a neighbor like that when I was growing up. She called the cops on us one time because she thought we were being too loud. Yeah, it was 6 PM in the evening & it was my little sister's 8th birthday. Wild Crazy right?! Geez….

    Reply
  14. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/10/2011 at 5:35 am

    So you are a Housewives fan too then I see? Admit it, they've made you a little snoopy too. haha

    Reply
  15. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/10/2011 at 5:35 am

    And I wish I could cook like her too! And then still walk around in my pearls & pencil skirts. lol

    Reply
  16. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/10/2011 at 5:36 am

    Yeah, our neighbors don't hang out at all. I think it's so strange because I grew up in a neighborhood where all the neighbors hung out. Kind of like Wisteria lane minus all the hoochiness & killers. haha

    Reply
  17. Jessica says

    03/10/2011 at 6:54 am

    Being loud at 6pm? That is totally a reason to call the cops. Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with people. If she was bothered by the noise why didn't she come over and say something rather than call the cops.

    Reply
  18. Mother On The Go says

    03/10/2011 at 12:06 pm

    I love DH.Never missed one episoe. fought wwith the kids over TV time co it clshed with Phineas and Ferb,and Ialways won. I am friendly wth neighbors but did I have neighbrs looking like that, wouldnt be friendly… yeah I am sure. Liked your post. will stalk you. You can catch me at http://www.mothersonthego.com.

    Reply
  19. Hello! I'm Kate. says

    03/10/2011 at 3:29 pm

    @Jessica

    Because she was a chicken. If you read my post from today, I write about the wind chimes of our elderly next door neighbor. The mean neighbor would take rubber bands & put them around the wind chimes because she thought they were too loud. **Rolls Eyes**

    Reply
    • Eduardo says

      01/12/2014 at 9:04 am

      This Alabama gal remembers the birth of two of her cirdlhen, when the wisteria blooms. Without fail for the last 30 years, the trees are dripping with purple blossoms the last week of March. What was I thinking for not naming my daughter Wisteria? Not a chance, but she will forever hear the story of that close call.

      Reply
    • cheap auto insurance says

      01/29/2014 at 5:51 am

      I’m quite pleased with the information in this one. TY!

      Reply
  20. Hello! I'm Kate. says

    03/10/2011 at 3:31 pm

    @Mother On The Go

    Oh who are you kidding?! You dress like that everyday! lol I know I do (as I type this in my husband's gray sweatpants, a tshirt, I haven't had a shower or brushed my teeth yet this morning! hahaha

    Reply
  21. Kim says

    03/10/2011 at 6:43 pm

    Kate! You think my heels and thong are too much for washing the car?? I was just trying to you know, KLASS things up a bit around here. 🙂 I'd secretly like to keep house like Bree, while having my 3 kids run around. Think she's for hire?

    Reply
  22. Carri says

    03/12/2011 at 3:48 am

    I've never seen an episode!
    I would dress like that every day if I could afford it. How nice would that be?

    Reply
  23. Moomser says

    03/12/2011 at 11:38 pm

    Hi, recently re-found your blog, good as ever!
    I secretly wish I lived in Wisteria Lane, had the legs to wash my car in Edi's outfit, had Bree's housekeeping skills and Gabrielle's gardner. And no, never met an 18 year old that looked like that!

    Reply
  24. Elena @NaynaDub says

    03/13/2011 at 8:19 pm

    I do the same thing – I wish my neighborhood was crazy like Wisteria Lane. I'd love to sit and have cocktails on the porch. Well, they have coffee but I'd institute cocktails. Love your theories on your neighbor. 😉

    Reply
  25. Lady Jennie says

    03/15/2011 at 8:41 pm

    Oh no – I think you're ahead of me. We have the latest season waiting for us on DVD but we haven't started watching it yet. I feel like I live on the french version of Wysteria Lane.

    Reply
  26. Elena @NaynaDub says

    03/16/2011 at 2:24 am

    I do the same thing – I wish my neighborhood was crazy like Wisteria Lane. I'd love to sit and have cocktails on the porch. Well, they have coffee but I'd institute cocktails. Love your theories on your neighbor. 😉

    Reply
  27. Carri says

    03/16/2011 at 2:24 am

    I've never seen an episode!
    I would dress like that every day if I could afford it. How nice would that be?

    Reply
  28. Hello! I'm Kate. says

    03/16/2011 at 2:24 am

    @Mother On The Go

    Oh who are you kidding?! You dress like that everyday! lol I know I do (as I type this in my husband's gray sweatpants, a tshirt, I haven't had a shower or brushed my teeth yet this morning! hahaha

    Reply
  29. gringationcancun says

    03/16/2011 at 2:24 am

    I like Desperate Housewives, but it's hard to catch up on it here in Mexico so I stopped watching 🙁

    Love Edie's car-washing outfit 🙂

    Reply
  30. Kate@Mommy Monologues says

    03/16/2011 at 3:25 am

    The 6th season is good! I finished it last week & now I don't know what to do with myself. I guess I'm just going to have to be patient & wait for the 7th season to come on Netflix.

    Living on the french version of Wisteria Lane sounds interesting!

    Reply
  31. Tonya says

    03/17/2011 at 4:33 am

    I recently gave up on Desperate Housewives, but I SOOOOOO enjoyed it and truth me told, I miss it. So stylish, sassy and snarky.

    Reply
  32. Tonya says

    03/17/2011 at 5:24 am

    I recently gave up on Desperate Housewives, but I SOOOOOO enjoyed it and truth me told, I miss it. So stylish, sassy and snarky.

    Reply

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Hello, I'm Kate, author behind the blog & matriarch of chaos, meal planning, family entertainment, & everything in between in the Mommy Monologues family. I started this blog in March of 2010 as a new mom and was looking for an outlet while trying to figure out motherhood. Blogging was great, exciting, new, wonderful & an awesome … [Continue Reading]

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