I am participating in the SITS Back to Blogging week! Woo hoo! Today we are supposed to post the very first post we ever wrote. This was a post I wrote waaay back when my blog had a different name, no followers, & it sat alone for months.
PS I have two posts for today, so scroll down to check out my latest blog design!
This morning I woke up completely exhausted. My mind and body ached as though I had just run a marathon. But it was no marathon that had me utterly beat…it was my infant. Up again, down again, up again, down again…that was the pattern for the night. At 5:30 this morning I gave up entirely on getting any amount sleep that was worth anything, got out of bed, changed a diaper, and started bouncing my son in his bouncy seat.
As I lay there blinking my eyes to keep them open I began to wonder, “is my mind wasting away as I sit here and have conversations with a little person who absolutely has no vocabulary beyond ooh and aah?” But each and every time I see him smile or see a pouty lip, I know that it doesn’t matter that I’m not talking politics or reading novels, our conversations are just as important as whatever CNN has to say. Our conversations are full of meaning and knowledge–I mean it. I see him trying to learn words, I see him communicating with me and it’s awesome.
Sometimes it’s true, some evenings my conversations with my husband go like this, “How was your day?” “Fine,” I reply. “What did you do?” “Well, I was pooped on, spit up on, pooped on again…” It is in those moments that I realize that I have had more to do with fecal matter and saliva than any person would like and it’s all I can talk about because the stack of messy diapers in the diaper genie are all I have to show for my day. Sometimes in those moments I want to scream and run away and not look back. But then my husband picks up our son and I hear my son laugh, so I turn around and I see his smile. What a smile. It lights up my whole world and in that moment I would change every single diaper all over again.
I don’t worry that this is anything but normal. I read in a parenting magazine that “to be passionate is to momentarily fantasize about throwing it all away.” I know that I don’t want to walk away, there is too much to leave behind and nothing to walk towards. Everything that I have ever wanted, needed, or desired is staring me in the face, wanting me to talk to him, to feed him, to hold him, to change those dang poopy diapers. And it’s all worth it. End of story.
But if the aforementioned quote is true, then I at 5:30 this morning I was very very passionate.
Allyson & Jere says
At least your first post (or sometime close to first) is good. Mine is so dumb, I don't even want to post it. Wait, maybe because Jer wrote that post. I was sooooo clueless when this all began. But I DO want to play along.I'm just glad you survived those rough up all night kind of nights.
Allyson & Jere says
BTW, can you tell me HOW to re-upload an old entry. The one I want to use has pictures and everything. I have NO idea how to do it.
Shelby Bukhenik says
haha I am very passionate at 3:30, 4:30, 5:30 in the morning if she chooses to grace me with her cries then!!
Loved this first post…I just might do this today as well!
The Millennial Housewife says
I'm sooo glad those days are gone! Although, my crazy mind sometimes wishes for a day when I had a newborn in the house again!! Great first post – mine was ridiculous…. I can say that I have grown a lot in blogging in less than a year!
good first post 🙂 you seem a bit less stressed out now haha
loving these 'first posts' – and seriously – at least you HAD a conversation w/ your husband. Mine would come home and I'd toss the kid his way and go takeÂ a shower
Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds says
That's quite early for passion. I can't have a thought that early!
Great first post – I'm glad to have found you even if it wasn't at the very beginning.
I bet rereading a post like this makes you appreciate how GOOD it feels to get SLEEP!
The Drama Mama says
Stopping in from the Back to Blogging SITS extravaganza and your ending made me giggle. I have SO been there.
Bwahahahaha…I'm jumping on the bandwagon..The ending,I had that feeling last night..and the night before and….
HRH Mommy says
OMG, that is an awesome post!! I guess I was supposed to read this tonight – the night that i am sitting on my bed, catching up on reading blogs, a mud mask on my face that is now cracked all over because of the smiles that this post brought to my face. We had one of those nights again last night and when at 5:40am Ryder finally fell asleep I had a whopping 20 minutes to regain some (any) amount of sanity before my alarm went off at 6am.
No matter how awful the night is, they smile at you in the morning when they wake up and all is forgiven. I think they're made to do that. Mother Nature intended them to be so darn cute for exactly that reason. i swear!
Great first post! While in many ways I love how my boys (4 and 2) have grown, I really miss that newborn stage where when I would spend hours just watching them sleep and be impressed with amy small thing they did.
Awesome post! I believe I was very passionate for most of the first few months too. LOL.
Lil' Miss Sunshine says
haha! this is a great post! I giggled because I can soooo relate!