I pretty much have outgrown MTV. I haven’t watched “Real World” or any of the challenge shows IN YEARS! I can’t relate or identify with any of their stuff, I’ve moved on to adult things (YIKES! Am I an adult?!) So, I have no ideaÂ how I started watching the first season of MTV’S 16 & Pregnant (which is now Teen Mom) but I did & began following Catelynn, Maci, Farrah, & Amber in their journey as very young first timeÂ mothers.
I know that our situations were/areÂ completely different. I’m almost 9 or 10 years older than each of them, married, have made it through college,Â but I was also going through all of those first time parenting moments that they were. Like figuring out howÂ our schedules were changing, howÂ our lives were turned upside down with bottles, diapers, midnight feedings, & all the other craziness that motherhood brings with it.
I love watchingÂ all the girls now, but the couple that drew me into the showÂ was Catelynn & Tyler. If you haven’t watched the show, Catelynn & Tyler gave their daughter, Carly, up for adoption.Â They made a decision that I couldn’t relate to at this point in my life. But I used to always say ifÂ I had ever been in their position, that adoption would have been the choice for me. Then againÂ that was just me making declarative statements that I honestly had no clue about (don’t we all make those?!)
I think what this young couple did was so very brave, so very smart, &Â so very selfless. They both come fromÂ very dysfunctional backgrounds, that much is evident just looking at their parents. Catelynn’s step-father (who is also Tyler’s biological father–hello dysfunction!) is in & out of jail & rehab, there has been drug & alcohol abuse in the home, cussing, screaming, yelling, fighting, and many other things that are so unstable for anyone, let alone an infant.
They chose to keep their daughter out of that environment so that they could break the cycle of abuse. It was courageous, it was inspiring & was the right thing to do. And I don’t understand why in the world they get so much crap for it? I was googling them a few months ago just to see if there were any updates about how they are doing &Â how they are handling the whole situation and I saw someÂ shocking comments.
Comments that say how disgusted people are with them for giving away their child, how they are terrible people for even being on the show; “DON’T YOU KNOW THEY AREN’T PARENTS! THEY GAVE THEIR CHILD AWAY! HOW IS THAT INSPIRING? THEY ARE DISGUSTING!”Â Even their parents say these things to them. Frankly, it leaves me stunned…The home & life that their daughter now has is beautiful, stable, DRUG FREE, and the list of positives could go on forever.
I have absolutely no idea if I would have made the same choice as them if I were in the exact same situation. Fortunately, I will never know what it’s like to be in their shoes. But I stillÂ applaud them & I cheer them onÂ (and all mother’s who make this decision whatever their reasons) in this journey of their own version of “parenthood.” I hope they always know they did theÂ right thing. It may not be for everyone, it may not be forÂ you or for me, but it was obviously what was best for them & for Carly.
And yes, I will be following them in Season 2 of Teen Mom (it debuted last night!)
I haven't watched the show, but from what you say I think they made the right decision too! Sadly, there are many ignorant people out there that like to bad mouth people for no reason. I think that when people do something as brave and difficult as those two young people did, it makes other people feel bad about themselves, and the fact that they don't have the strength to do what is right, so they try their best to throw dirt in other people's faces.
Ashley O. says
I watch 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom, they just suck me in! I couldn't stop crying when I watched the episode when Catelynn and Tyler gave Carly up. They are so incredibly strong!! One of my best friends gave her daughter up for adoption when she was 17 and she always says that it was the hardest and the best thing she has ever done.
I haven't watched this show, but it sounds to me they made a courageous choice — regardless of how others feel about it. Adopting a child out of a bad situation can be a priceless gift . . . and a heartbreaking one for the parents. It sounds selfless to me.
I watched the show too and I cried with Tyler and Catlyn when they gave up Carly. It's disheartening to see that ignorant people will attack others when they have never walked in the other person's shoes. I would hope that if I was ever in that situation that I would have half the courage they did. If you love some one enough, set them free. They loved and still love their daughter and they made an amazing decision.
I love the show!!!!! I sobbed when Carly was born and they had to go through that. I can relate a little – I got pregnant with my first child when I was 18 and went through the ups and downs of deciding for or against adoption. In the end I decided to not do it and to keep my baby but it was tough.
I missed it last night but they constantly reair the shows on there so I'll have to catch it before the new one next week.
Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds says
I can't be disgusted by people turning their mistake into such a gift for the baby and the adoptive parents. If people feel like they can't handle parenthood, there are tons of people ready and waiting who can.
I actually just finished watching the premiere of Teen Mom (Season 2) an hour ago. And I took don't watch any other MTV shows – except Teen Mom and !6 & Pregnant. There is something about those shows that intrigues me…
Anywho – I completely agree with your assessment of Tyler and Catelynn. What they did is remarkable and I am sure was one of the hardest decision of their young lives. I have no idea what I would have done if I had been in their shoes. Their decision was self-less and inspiring. And it is ridiculous to see how people (and their family) treat them and admonish them. What they did was brave. It was not easy – not at all.
Shelby Bukhenik says
I watched last seasons finale and then Dr. Drews meet up with them after and then this seasons premiere and I am now addicted!
I completely agree with you about Catelynn and Tyler, they are parents and will be for the rest of their lives whether they have more children or not. they gave another family the best gift ANYONE could ever give.
One of my best friends gave her baby up for adoption (teen pregnancy) 10 years ago and she still sees her every year at an adoption picnic the agency holds. If she had kept the baby I am sure she would be a different person today and not that the baby would have been in a bad situation with my friend, but the baby's biological father is an abuser and has gotten numerous other woman pregnant and is currently beating his pregnant girlfriend (they are trying to arrest him but the girl won't come forward). Its sickening how awful people can be and how they don't realize its not their decision to make.
I agree, I think they are awesome. I think it's incredibly selfless to give your child up for adoption to make sure that they grow up in a good environment free of the drugs/alcohol/drama/etc.
They made the harder, more mature decision out of all of them! Shame on people for criticizing them!
Honey B. says
We bash adoption, and yet bemoan the fact that wonderful couples have to wait so long to adopt…duhh!
I bawled like a baby when i watched the episode where she had Carly. They are SO much braver than your average 16 year old and their decision showed they are wise beyond their years. cant believe people would ridicule them for wanting to better their daughters life. & the adoptive parents : amazing!! I feel lame too watching MTV but i do want to keep up w/ them on the show lol
There are too many ignorant people out there who run their mouths off before they know all the facts, I've not seen the show but I wish them all the luck in the world. I sometimes look back with embarassement at some of the TV shows I watched in my youngster years.
What a hard decision they made, but it made a family for the baby. Isn't that what we would all want for our kids? I haven't watched the show, but I do know that it would take a very brave woman to do what she did.