I used to journal a LOT!
I started writing a journal in the 1st grade. I wrote one every year after that. And I still have them all! But, somewhere between graduating college, getting married, starting grad school & having a baby I quit.
Hmmm….I wonder why?
Here is an entry I found from the summer before I started college on June 26, 2002 at 10:51 pm (yes, I write the time I start & end all my journal entries–yes, I am neurotic. Stop judging me.)
Today, you became my closest confidant. The past school year was a hard one. Hopefully, you will be the place that I store happier memories & a new beginning.
Hopefully, you will be the clean slate.
I pray that you will be the journal that I will be able to flip back through and read about happier thoughts. It is time for me to finally feel better.
I am looking forward to the next five and a half months being full of new life experiences and full of all the joyful & free ones an 18 year old expects to find.
And I actually did have a blast that summer.
It was the only summer my parents didn’t make me work as long as I was working out for the next basketball season.
My parents took us on an amazing trip out west for two weeks!
I did have my wisdom teeth taken out that summer…that was not so much fun.
Eighteen is a fun & difficult age. I remember thinking I was so grown up, yet I felt so small in the world.
I remember going off to college & the first night I was there I went to a gas station at 10 pm & turned to a friend on our way there, “Is there someone we’re supposed to ask to make sure it’s okay for us to do this?” It was a totally new concept to me to just run out to the store without getting permission first (especially on a school night!)
My 18 to 19th year ended up being full of all the new experiences I was hoping to find. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it was just perfect enough that I can forget all the cruddy stuff & only remember good things.
But you know what?
As good as that year was…I’d NEVER go back to being a freshman in college ever again.
I like exactly where I am & where I’m going.