My parents were a “No Spanking” family.
The one time I was ever spanked (before their no spanking policy was in place) didn’t work. I remember being about six years old, I told a lie (my mom’s biggest issue was with lies.) I remember getting bent over the knee, it hurt like hell, I looked up with no tears and said, “Is that all you got?” or something along those lines. Then ran to my room, slammed the door, & cried for an hour. But I wasn’t going to let them know that it had worked.
I should have just cried in front of them and been done with it. Because what I did was dangerous, I challenged two lawyers. So, they put their heads together & came up with a different form of consequences. Since spanking clearly did not work, they created a way in which they could torture their overly, extroverted child–
THEMES! dun-dun-dun….
What is a theme?
theme: A very clever & sly, evil way that two outside of the box thinkers derive a plan to make their daughter suffer the consequences of her actions by assigning said child 1) a time that she must go to her room by herself, with no toys or siblings to distract her and 2) write a paper with an assigned number of words with a topic; such as:
1500 words on “Why I will not lie”
1000 words on “Why Hitting My Sister is Not Nice”
500 words on “Why I will do my chores the first time my mother asks”
I would be given a deadline & if that deadline was not met, then they tacked on another 200 words. GENIUS I say (I swear it’s the reason school papers do not daunt me to this day. When I became a history grad student & had to write 30 page papers 4 times a semester, no big deal, I was spittin’ out 5 page papers weekly when I was eleven all for being a brat.)
People, I guarantee you I had to have written 5 volumes of “Themes” (that probably doesn’t speak very highly of me does it–I’m basically telling you I was in trouble all the time.) The concept is really quite brilliant–I was a total extrovert (still am) who HATED to be separated from people (still do.) It was sheer torture being sent to my room at 7:30 on a Friday night, with no family movie time, & with no interaction with people! I could hear them laughing, I could hear them talking, I could hear the movies, I could hear them eating (had to eat supper alone too), I could hear them all the time & it would kill me slowly!
I was thinking about those brilliantly, genius stupid themes yesterday as I watched my precious baby boy turn into a scary, screaming, monster thrashing on the floor because he wanted something he couldn’t have. It put me in a momentary shock that such a ferocious, little, creature came from my angel and I was amazed my parents did battle like this with five kids & survived it (and still love us). It was in this moment that I realized that they really had no clue as to what they were doing. They, like everyone else, didn’t have it all mapped out for them, didn’t have a map legend telling them what huge decisions needed to be made, if those darn themes would work on me or not; it was a lot of guesswork, prayer, & diligence to mold the five of us into the people we are today.
I just hope that I can do it with as much grace as they did & I hope I can do as well of a job (because I’m pretty much the bomb 🙂 & I hope that I don’t totally screw my kids up in the process!
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| I would gather my sibs in this little hallway between our bedrooms & |
Sounds like your parents found just the right punishment for you. My daughter will straighten up at the mention of being sent to her room. Amazing since she loves to play there, just not when I want her to.
Good food for thought when the writing years get here! These days you could make the kid have a behavior blog.
this is a great idea..
i remember i used to beg to be spanked instead of being grounded. lol.
i spank my son from time to time now… when i am at my whits end with him… ive tried making him write sentences… time out.. taking toys away.. it all works once or twice.. but thats it… maybe ill try this! lol.
Happy belated Moms day!
They made you write papers!?!?! Wow! I have to say that's the first time I ever heard of that type of punishment.
I must keep the theme thing in mind. Already sending him to his room does nothing for him. Neither does sending him to the corner. I am out of options. He can't write yet but oh the day he can he better watch out. Thank you.
That IS brilliant! Another one I'm totally doing when my kid are a little older is, if they're each blaming the other for something, to have them sit down and write what happened. And they don't get to get up until the stories match up!
What a brilliant idea from your parents and I might have to discuss this with the hubs about implementing them. When I was little corporal punishments were big. No, it's not just the spanking. It's my dad's belt meet time out standing facing a corner sometimes with one foot up! It didn't work very well…I decided to 'run away' one day and it put a stop to it LOL. But that was the 'old' way. I like your parents' version better.
By the way, thanks for the mention, I got people stopping by from your blog. 😀
Wishing you a great Monday, officially it's already Tuesday here.
Themes. Brilliant. Maybe I should try it out on my husband, too. But this definately seems like the perfect kind of consequence when my daughter misbehaves (and that's coming from an English prof)! Thanks for the idea.
Stopping by from SITS
http://mommamaybemad.blogspot.com/2010/05/mothers-day-vow.html
Brilliant idea! I love it. Plus it's educational.
We would get spanked with the wooden spoon. We always had 2 warnings before my mom would whip the spoon out, though. Man, we were stupid.
Loved this!! I am living in toddler tantrum land…and it's a scary place. After he melted down for a good half an hour over having a pan taken away from him, I asked my Mom if this was normal. She about died from laughter. Ah ha ha
Great story! I was also quite a handful as a child, but I was a good teenager, so I guess I made up for it.
That is so hilarious!! 🙂 My Mom made me write sometimes too, as punishment!
Loving your blog…
Oh writing was evil then wasn't it?! I'm so glad they did it now though! Thanks for stopping by! I tried following you back over at your place but my computer is acting stupid! But your place is so cute, so I'll be stopping back by to try again later!
That's exactly how I was–I think I was too busy to be too much trouble in high school–my parents probably planned that too! lol
That sounds exactly like my mom–in fact my dad told me the other day that he didn't feel sorry for me at all. When he told me that I looked at my mom for sympathy, I didn't get any!
hahaha–i'm not sure if I could have handled wooden spoons very well :/
haha–I can just envision me handing my husband paper & a pen & telling him to start writing! lol Yeah my mom is a comp prof! So you know my pain! My mom would edit my themes & hand them back to me if words were spelled incorrectly or if there were run-on sentences. It was terrible! lol Thanks for visiting! I'm heading your way!
I'm glad that people stopped by–it's a good blog! I remember watching my cousins getting the belt–I was always so scared for them when I knew it was about to happen!
Tell them I'm sorry :/ lol I have a friend who wrote on her fbook page that she made her son write a theme yesterday! I told her to pass on my apologies!
I'm just hitting this stage with my lil dude–hearing No just makes him flip out! It's getting dangerous here!
It was very creative! Not much fun at the time but I'm glad they did it!
Spanking would have been so much easier than having to write those papers!
Hope you had a good Mother's Day! And Good Luck with your lil man!
A behavior blog….hmm?! I like that! Right now Baby is just now learning that the word "No" is not something he particularly likes–major feelings getting hurt when I say it. It's precious & not fun all at the same time!
Wow…that's intense.
My parents were definitely spankers. And soap-in-mouthers. I HATED that.