This is an OLD post from May 2010. I’ve been wanting to write about how everything has changed since I wrote this post. So, tomorrow, I am going to be writing about how much this post was the most helpful in the nine months that I’ve been blogging. It literally changed our lives for the better!
I am not a perfect mother, I will put that out there right now! And I am about to tell you one of the things that I have been extremely imperfect about.
During the day when lil dude was a little, bitty baby & it was nap-time, I would either A) Take a nap in my bed & put him in the bed with me & he would nurse to sleep or B) Sit in the rocking chair & watch a movie & hold him while he slept. And why wouldn’t I have wanted to cuddle up with this precious, little guy?!!
I had no idea what the repercussions of this would be! And boy, am I paying for it now! I NEVER, EVER realized that I should have been putting him down in a separate space (during the day time–I don’t mind him being in bed with me at night)Â so he could learn how to sleep without being held! I’ll say it again, I NEVER, EVER realized that I should be doing this! And now I have created this little sleepingÂ Klingon child who seriously can not function without being permanently latched to the boob (day or night while sleeping!) IÂ literally can not unlatch him for two seconds orÂ he wakes up, he screams, he won’t go back to sleep, nothing. He can notÂ sleep independently from me at all!
And while yes, this has been amazing for the whole bonding thing, I am miserable, exhausted, my neck hurts from sleeping funny, I’m up half the night pissed that I’m not asleep, etc etc etc. I don’t care how long he sleeps in bed with us, at this point I would be thrilled if he would just sleep independently from me in the sameÂ bed.During the daytime, I can’t get anythingÂ done because when he’s sleeping I’m sitting there holding him, tied down in the rocking chair.
We’ve tried sleep training (nightmare–one time he screamed for an hour straight & then vomited everywhere from being so upset), we’ve tried putting him in a crib in our room, we’ve tried putting him in his bouncy seat, we’ve tried putting him on a mattress in the floor, we’ve tried walking him around at night to soothe him back to sleep without nursing–we have tried everything! And so far nothing works!!!
And I know that we can all fast forward 25 years & I’ll be dancing at his wedding or he will have his own babies & I will be whispering to Hubs, “Oh remember when he couldn’t do anything without me? Remember how close we were when he was little? I miss that.” (Or we will probably have to plan the entire wedding day around his morning & nightly feedings–I’ve ruined him for his futureÂ bride!)Â But for now in the present time, I’m tired….and stumped about what to do….and hoping it will be easier once he’s weaned….