My mom didn’t have a mother. So, needless to say, the day I came home from the hospital FIVE hours old (and with no name I might add) she didn’t really know where to start. Her answer? Books. Lots and lots and lots of books.
I had a great role model for a mother, I’m one of the lucky ones. And I have inherited my mother’s trait of turning to books when I have a parenting question or when we have hit a big phase where I have no idea what to do.
When I didn’t know how to teach Lboy to sleep in his own bed, well I went to Barnes & Noble, hit up their Family & Childcare section, pulled out 5 books, read through each of them as much as I could & chose the one I thought was best (which happened to be Kim West’s Good Night, Sleep Tight. It’s amazing! Lboy sleeps 12 hours every.single.night.)
When Lboy was nine months old I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why he was crying every night when we put him in the tub. I started doing some research in my plethora of parenting books & read that babies start to discover depth perception at this age, so he was probably scared of the transition of being whooshed from my arms straight into the tub. It made sense, so I tried not to practically drop him into the tub & be a tad bit more gentle (it worked too!)
For the last 3 or so months, Lboy has been telling me when he wants his diaper changed. It was sporadic in the beginning, but now if his diaper is wet or nasty, he goes to his bedroom, gets a diaper out of his dresser, brings me wipes & Desitin, then says, “Diaper change. I’m poopie.”
Today, I decided I have to just buckle down & start with the icky business that is potty training. I headed out to B&N on the hunt for the perfect how to manual & you know what?
They had totally rearranged their huge “Family & Childcare” section into a TOY section (at a bookstore people? Seriously?) andÂ had 3 bookshelves haphazardly crammed together with a display of pregnancy scrapbooks. Where was my “This book will save your life book?!” It was not there…there actually wasn’t a lot of anything on those stupid shelves.
I am not one of those people who can book shop online, at least not for my parenting books. I have to hold the book in hand, read a chapter, the inserts, the back page, about the author…I have a system people!
Barnes & Noble, first your prices are ridiculously expensive & now the one thing that you had going for you is gone (at least in my book- pun intended. ba-dum ching!)
Now, I have made no steps in my advancement towards a potty training book & now I’m out $10 because I found a different book that I just had to buy.
Did you use a good potty training book? How did potty training go with your kiddos?
Are you a book reader for all things child rearing or a fly by the seat of your pants kind of person?
I used a “potty candle” and a little dance. It worked AMAZINGLY! What kid doesn’t like to blow out a candle and do a little jig? Every single time my little ones went to the bathroom, I lit the candle and we danced like no one was watching. If they “did the deed” they blew it out…otherwise, Mommy blew it out and made it look like so much fun! They are easy to stash in your purse when shopping, eating out, etc. Needless to say, I might have been known to bust a move in Target or a restaurant or two…
My little one is at the stage where she tells me her diaper needs to be changed but I haven’t started potty training yet. I typically turn to google and my friends/family for advice instead of parenting books.
Courtney K. @ The Mommy Matters says
I am a parenting book person too. My little guy is nearing the point of potty training [we’re battling some icky stomach issues that we can’t get resolved…bleh]. Before we got ready to move to Alaska, I used the 3 Day Potty Training method and nearly had him trained. Okay…let me rephrase that. He WAS potty trained…until I went out of town and left him with my mother-in-law who didn’t pay enough attention to his potty needs. Ahem. 🙂 Good luck!! Potty training is a beast.
First – potty training is the 7th circle of Hell. I read Dante’s “Inferno” and am certain it’s in there.
Second – I don’t do no books, lol! I fly by the seat of my pants. When in doubt, I would start asking other moms (okay, so it was your mom, my mom and your Aunt Suse, lol!) I figure women who had five kids each had to know something about child rearing 😉
Third – Easiest way I’ve found to potty train a kid is by doing the bare bottom routine. Take the diaper off in the am, explain that today he’s going potty – woohoo! – and then take him often to the toilet until he goes in it. Do not get lured by those cute potty chairs. They just create more work. Get a seat insert. Get the Thomas one 😉 Play in the back yard a lot so he doesn’t pee on your carpet too much. Buy a Hoover Steam Vac as well. Once he gets the hang of it, get him some big boy undies. Be thankful you can buy Thomas undies at Target now. Back when I was potty training my 15 year old, I had to buy him Thomas undies at Dillards. Once he gets the hang of getting undies up and down, give him back shorts.
The key to potty training is consistency. As long as you’re consistent, he’ll become consistent about going potty. He’s young enough that if he totally balks, screams, hissy fits in the bathroom…drop it for a month or two, then try again.
Oh, and speaking of parenting book section failure – if you have a child with any other special need besides autism, adhd, sensory issues or Down’s Syndrome, you’re pretty much SOL. And the last three are not a guarantee either.
Yeah, I should write that book, huh? LOL!
Laura in Cancun says
My parents potty trained my oldest sister by strapping her down to the toilet seat and giving her some books to read… I don’t think they got that technique from a book, though haha
Good luck with Lboy! Sounds like he’s ready
Stephanie Faris says
I get a lot of my books from the library — you might check your local library and see if it has a parenting section.
I’ve never used a potty training book, but after doing 3 kids my best advice is just to wait to make sure he’s ready and avoid pull – ups. It sounds like he’s interested, so go for it. Mine all figured out that pull ups are really diapers, so they just went in them. I put them in regular undies – cold turkey. Messy, yeah, but they got the idea faster. And candy. I am not above bribery. 🙂
I didn’t use a book. I know it can be VERY different with each kid and often even different with boys and girls so my advice my or may not help.
Ditch the diapers – seriously. When you decide to start, they’ve gotta go. They can confuse the kid if you are going back and fourth between potty and diaper. If necessary use pullups for naps, overnight or even outings until he’s ready.
If possible – make a weekend or full week out of it when starting. Have a small potty (w/removable bowl for easy dumping). Kid runs around naked or in loose fitting shorts/pants. Lots and lots of drinks – keep em flowing. Sit down on the potty and watch a movie or play some games, color etc and keep drinking. When it’s time to go – he’s already on the potty! Praise praise praise. Do a dance or give a sticker or even an m&m … what each kid needs/wants is different. Mine was happy w/just praising and a high five. She could care less about stickers or m&ms at the time but it might be different for yours.
NO outings until he gets the idea. Take small potty w/you for emergencies in the car. Ask lots if he’s gotta go.
Most of all – you both have to be on board w/the plan or it won’t work. Good luck!!! (btw sorry so long)
Nope. Didn’t use books on that. Tried to find one on the gifted child, but it ended up being a book about being gifted with your parents dysfunction! LOL
Son #1 – M&M method – but something in the potty, get an M&M from the jar. Once it’s empty, potty training is complete.
Son #2 – He didn’t want to, just wasn’t interested, until I finally said he couldn’t play with the neighbor until he started using the potty (between 2 and 3). Bingo!
Son #3 – Trained himself. Started pre-=2.
Son #4 – Offered to buy a tricycle whose wheel didn’t fall off after three pedals. Totally terrified of pooping in the toilet. Had to watch and watch and watch until he was about to do it in his diaper – and then plopped him on the toilet! Bingo! Had to buy a new tricycle though (2.5)
Son #5 – You know? I just cannot remember. I just remember it being over and thinking, “That was 12 years in a row – not counting 5 year gap – of changing diapers.” LOL
It all depends on what motivates your son!
Polish Mama on the Prairie says
“Everybody Poops” is awesome, so is “Once Upon a Potty”. We used Elimination Communication in our house.
I am in the thick of trying to potty train my very resistant 3 year old. I too was at the bookstore the other day and found not one book worth buying. Potty training my oldest, the boober, was a breeze. It happened in a snap. Not the hot pocket. She’s much more difficult. Let me know what you find.
Ughhhhh….. I’m dreading the day! Blake is almost there but not quite. He talks about the potty and being wet or dirty, but he just doesn’t care enough yet.
As much as I’d like to start it, I’m afraid to try until after we move. So until then, we’ll just talk about the potty. Oh… and I bought him an Elmo potty DVD for his Easter Basket. 😉
So, I realized something – I have actually read a book on potty training. Actually, the husband, myself and Maura’s kindergarten staff read this book. Needless to say, it didn’t work for us. Maybe b/c it’s more autism geared, and Maura’s not a routine girl, lol!
We’re sorta-kinda training now. I didn’t plan to start just yet, but Baby A told me a couple of weeks ago she wanted to sit on the potty, so off we went! I remind the girls to try to tell Mommy BEFORE they need to make tee-tees or stinkies, and we’ll go sit on the potty so they can do it like a big girl. I haven’t done any rewards…the big reward at our house is to get to flush the potty. If they just sit and don’t do anything, there’s no reason to flush, but if they “make”, then they LOVE to flush! 🙂
My challenge is that, if one girl asks to go, the other wants to go then, too. I DO NOT want to do the mini-potty (because I don’t want to clean it out!), and sorry – we only have one (regular) toilet in each of the bathrooms. 🙂 Honestly, though, I think the biggest challenge is not making it a game. I think it’s hard, because potty time is one-on-one time with Mommy, but I try to keep them focused on the task at hand.
Baby A has had several successes over the past couple of weeks – two today! Baby B has yet to have a success, but honestly I would be fine to get one trained, and then focus on the other.
Good luck!!! Let us know how you’re doing! I do love me some parenting books! 🙂
Not a mom, but looking back at what worked for my sister was straight up bribery. Mom and dad threatened to leave her home while the rest of the family went to see Grandma. Worked like a charm. They need to motivated. I still think you should check out the library. Best of luck.
30ish Mama says
I actually want to get a potty training book also. I think my 1 year old is still way too young, but she has been consistently telling us when she poops since February. I figure the right time is just going to sneak up on us so I’d better start my research. But Jessica makes a good point, a lot of that info is available on Google.
I bought Dr. James Dobsons’ “How to Raise a Strong Willed Child”. I was happy after I read it because I realized that my princess was nothing like the wild kids in the book and that we were going to be just fine!