I get a lot of questions about this…so I thought I’d write a post about it.
Lboy calls Todd & I by our first names. We are Kate & Todd about 50% of the time and then Mommy & Daddy the other 50%. It is starting to become less & less of the first names the older he gets. I had honestly never noticed it nor thought it was a big deal until people started asking me about it, it never occurred to me that 1) People would care. 2) It would be brought up to us over & over again. 3) How I parent my children was anyone’s business but my own.
He calls me Kate typically when he does something really funny, when he needs/wants something (like food or drink or a honkin’ piece of homemade fudge–we’ve literally argued over that all day long!) or when we are talking about every day things. I instantly become Mommy when he is scared or hurt or sad or angry or excited…basically, in an important moment.
One time Lboy & I were in Barnes & Noble when I was pregnant with Baby O. We were sitting at the train table & a woman asked me if the baby I was pregnant with was my first. I was so confused because I was sitting there with Lboy playing with him & talking to him. Turns out, he had called me Kate the entire time we were sitting there & the woman confessed she thought that I was the nanny or an aunt! I just laughed. It didn’t bother me at all that she had asked, it was just the first time I realized how it appears to people who don’t know us.
I’ve heard so many different opinions on what people think about this, some people think it’s cute. Some people think it’s rude & disrespectful. Some people are innocently just curious & ask if that’s what he really does, if it bothers us & if we plan on making it stop.
The innocent questions from friends (or strangers) don’t bother me, I get that it’s unusual. The rude comments that are none of people’s business do annoy me, but I don’t really don’t have time to give them any second thought.
Todd & I have have discussed Lboy calling us by our first names. We think it’s hilarious. We also have talked about how I called my parents Paul & Jane for a long time & I eventually dropped it. It’s normal. It’s what he hears EVERYONE else on the face of the planet calling us (and if you’re wondering, yes, Todd & I refer to each other as “Mommy & Daddy” in front of Lboy. So the first name thing is something he started all on his own.)
I have an uncle who I respect 1,000,ooo times more than any other parent (along with his wife, I have turned to them for LOTS of parenting help. ;)) He and I (randomly) had a conversation one time about it & what he thinks we should do in the future. I will talk to that man all day & every day about how to raise children. His kids are amazing! His advice can’t steer you wrong & Todd and I have taken what he said to heart.
I think this is the new mantra that I may adopt to all the rude people,
“Yes, he calls me Kate. Yes, I’m his mother. No, it doesn’t bother me. No, I don’t plan on making him stop. No, I won’t discuss with you how I should parent my children. Yes, I do believe how I parent my child is none of your business.”
You want to know what would bother me? If he called me Mom or called Todd Dad. I can’t stand Mom or Dad. I’m Kate, Mama or Mommy. Not Mom, it’s like nails on a chalk board when I’m called Mom.
To each his own right?
“There can be differences of opinion without there being personal differences.”
What do your kids call you?